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Thread: As if it weren't enough...

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    As if it weren't enough...

    Well, my luck and chaos continues...

    My Uncle Don Fleming died this morning. He's local to me so the entire family is swarming toward my place. I'm picking people up that the airport, making up spare rooms and folding out the foo-tan beds... In general, heaping even more stress and chaos into my life.

    So... please be patient with my responces and timing over the next couple of days. I'm still working but itw ill be spread out between the inevitible travel, meets & greets and services, etc.

    In fact, my home office is getting set up for visiting relatives here in a minute... the first start showing up at 9:30 AM Sheesh... in about an hour.

    Anyway... I'm here and I'm doing the best I can for the time being.

    Thanks,

    DKOV -

  2. #2
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    Re:As if it weren't enough...

    Condolances,sounds like you need a vacation ;D.hopefully things will smoooooth out.
    The road to life is full of flat squirrels, who couldn't make up their mind!

  3. #3

    Re:As if it weren't enough...

    Sorry to hear about your uncle, and I hope everything goes well with your family while they stay with you.

    Take care,

    Ken

  4. #4
    Senior Member BondoBob's Avatar
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    Re:As if it weren't enough...

    Its hard having family members passing on,I know what your going through.Our prayers are with you.

  5. #5
    Junior Member mike f355's Avatar
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    Re:As if it weren't enough...

    Scott,
    My prayers are with you and your family, this is a hard time. Please take time with your family, as that is most important right now.

    Mike

  6. #6
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    Re:As if it weren't enough...

    Just to let you all know... not that it does anything but help ME deal...

    Despite the fact that my Uncle Don was pronounced clinicly "dead" on Wednesday, he was being strung along by life support systems until Thursday afternoon for the immediate (and extended I suppose) family to get into town.

    Only one of his sons made it. Then the machines were unplugged and Don passed from us with many of us at the bedside. It was very difficult for my Aunt Udell and Cousin David with whom I am very close. It was hard that my Uncle was passing on, but it broke my heart to watch my Aunt and Cousin. That was very hard. In the end, we hugged alot and cried alot.

    So today, we are going to handle the funeral arrangements and make those decisions.

    A couple of things I became aware of...

    1 - Making these arrangements ahead of time probably is a good idea but in being part of it, I think making the arrangements immediately afterward is a neccessary distraction. It seems to get us into a "thinking" mode or forcing us to continue to make decisions and think about things OTHER than the loss. Kinda therapeutic in a way. In any case, last night when you settled into bed, it all came rushing in anyway...

    2 - VA benefits are not all they are cracked up to be... $300 for "burial expenses" doesn't go far. Interestingly enough, the ONLY way to get non service related deaths covered is to pass IN a VA Hospital. Anywhere else, you're pretty much on your own. If you choose to be planted anywhere else than a National Military Cemetary, you foot the bill. In Total. In the Military Cemetary and having died NOT in a VA Hospital (the very best scenario in my Uncle's case) the VA covers the Plot, the Headstone and the Flag to the widow. Nothing else. Period.

    That is something and the cost of plots these days, a nice benefit. But even so... Udell doesn't work and the Social Security they got was a pittence anyway... I'm not sure how she's going to get along regardless of the forthcoming funeral expenses. Which is point three....

    3 - Having a big family that rallies around the loved one of the lost is a GREAT thing. I had 10 Aunts and Uncles. Uncle Don marks the 3rd to pass on but the only one that I was close to so far. Uncle Dan will be hard. Anyway, those 10 had something like 38 children and we have all gotten married and most of us have 2 or 3 kids of our own. So a BIG family.

    As a family, we're going to get Uncle Don handled and get Udell set up for a while. Takes the sting off I think.

    So why tell all this to a bunch of folks I really don't know that well?

    Therapy for one. I need to put my thoughts in order.

    Insight second. By saying these things, I can condense my thoughts and bring to light clearer thinking for the next meeting here shortly.

    Thirdly... passing it on. I wish someone had mentioned some of the things I'd be going through to me. Granted, this is my extended family, not even my Mother or Father. But I see what they are going through and this process has helped my put dealing with my Parents into perspective and provided some insight and tools for dealing with them. I'm hoping, for you all.. maybe something might stick with you as well.

    So pardon my ramblings and take heed to what you will. Enjoy life. Persue your dreams. Love and be loved.

    Thanks again,

    Scott (DKOV)

  7. #7

    Re:As if it weren't enough...

    My Condolances, Scott
    www.xvelocity.com

  8. #8
    Senior Member johnjs's Avatar
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    Re:As if it weren't enough...

    I am sorry for your loss as well Scott ,it is comforting tho that the hard times usually bring out the best in people ...john

  9. #9
    Senior Member lovef501's Avatar
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    Re:As if it weren't enough...

    im sorry Scott, keep your head up..

  10. #10
    Senior Member sactodreamer's Avatar
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    Re:As if it weren't enough...

    I am sorry for your loss Scott, hang tight with your family and take care.

    Ron

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