Sometime this year,  we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program,  and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:

Q.  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q..  Where will the government get this money ?
From taxpayers.

Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money ?
 A.  Only a smidgen of it.

Q.  What is the purpose of this payment ?
A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set,  thus stimulating the economy.

Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of  China  ?
A.  Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the  U.S.  economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,  the money will
go to  China  or  Sri Lanka  .

If you spend it on gasoline,  your money will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer,  it will go to  India  ,  Taiwan  or
China  . 

If you purchase fruit and vegetables,  it will go to  Mexico  ,
Honduras  and  Guatemala  ..

If you buy an efficient  car,  it will go to  Japan  or  Korea  .

If  you purchase useless stuff,  it will go to  Taiwan  .
 
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock,  it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead,
 keep the money in  America by:

1)  Spending it at yard sales, or
2)  Going to ball games, or 
3)  Spending it on prostitutes, or 
4)  Beer or 
5) Tattoos.

 (These are the only American businesses still operating in the  U.S.  )
Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me,  I'm just glad I could be of help.